Ripple Effects

Ripple effects have been on my mind a lot lately… as in, what effects or impact are we having on others in making the world a better place, even if just for one person? What is the impact of our actions that ripple out in ways that we probably will never get to know about? 

A few weeks ago I had the honor and privilege of attending a finalization court hearing where a judge issued a final decree of “adoption” for a young lady who has been hoping for permanency for a very long time. It was a moving, emotional, and joyful experience, and in a small way, I played a part — as the mandated reporter who made the report, and as a friend with connections in a very complex system, allowing me to provide resources and support to a family who had never been involved in the overwhelming child welfare system before this point.

783 days is how long this journey has been. Supposedly the average length of time a child is in foster care in Kansas is a year. But, assuming reunification hasn’t happened, then begins the long road to adoption. If I’m reading the latest state report correctly, the average length of time that it takes for a child to “exit” out-of-home placement from foster care entry to finalization with adoption, is 41 months. By that measure, my friends had a “short” turn around.

The process is heart-wrenching and stressful, and at the center of it all is a child who didn’t ask for any of this disruption and stressful unknown.

I’m posting about this because for the majority of my professional life I’ve been working in the field of child abuse prevention. I’ve trained tens of thousands of adults on mandated reporting laws and statutes, procedures for making reports, how to prevent abuse and neglect from happening, how to support and strengthen families, and how to look at a systemic issue versus an isolated situation. I’m proud of the work I’ve been involved in, and in recent years, have been working with the state systems in evaluating and supporting the shifts happening from “see-something-say-something” to “let’s dig a little deeper before involving child protection services, and see if we, as a community of support, can help a family before things rise to the level of needing a child removed.” I’m all for this newer way of thinking about community support but with a cautious outlook.

There is a fine line between the supportive “family first” lens versus screening out reports and not taking a closer look. In this particular case I assume there were several reports made prior to mine. There were plenty of mandated reporters involved prior to me – and I have to give the benefit of the doubt that they made a report. If they didn’t, the failure is on the reporter. If they did, there’s a failure within our system – because I firmly believe this case should have been screened in earlier if a report was made. I also firmly believe that my report was screened in due to my connections and follow up with those in positions of authority, alerting them of my report and urging a closer look. I continue to wonder if reports were screened out prior to mine because of the trend to step away from intervening and possibly causing more harm with an investigation. Child welfare is complex, nuanced, and filled with lots of gray areas. The statutes are vague. The screening process can be inconsistent. Society is conditioned to be one of surveillance vs support. I’m thankful there are lots of incredible people working at the highest level to reform the process so it’s more equitable and preventative. While there’s a lot of work to be done still, it’s certainly come a long way.

Anyone can make a report. But even more importantly, anyone can provide support. It doesn’t take great big actions to help a family out. Consider the ripple effects you can have through dropping judgment and assumption and by being more present and connecting with others in a genuine, supportive way. Yes, reports will be needed; investigations will happen. But let’s also consider the role of helping each other out as each of our responsibilities – because it truly does take a village, and we all have the ability to make a difference.

In this particular story I’m grateful for the outcome where a child has a safe, stable, loving home and extended family, and I’m in awe of my friends for changing their entire life to make a selfless and immeasurable difference. Thanks for letting me come along for the ride.