No. 25 in ‘25: Panamá

“Travel is the only treasure that never fades.” ~ Anthony Bourdain

It feels like it’s taken me almost as long to write this blog post as it did to get to Panamá. Okay, okay… I might be slightly exaggerating, because while the blog post is several months late, getting to Panamá took over 15 years from when it first made my list to actually stepping foot in the country. If I had an active real-life bucket list, this trip would have crossed an item off for me, and it’s my 25^th country to have visited.

I’ve been wanting to go to Panamá ever since I first learned about the biodiversity that is unique to this Central American country. Because the country serves as a land bridge between north and south America, there is a massive exchange of species that both reside there year-round but also that migrate back and forth. Add in the fact that Panamá is located in the tropics but also has rainforests, mangroves, cloud forests, and coasts on both the Pacific and Caribbean, and you have a magical wonderland for all things nature.

Besides the creatures and winged things that captured my interest, there’s also a deep history that shapes the country. Panamá has several UNESCO World Heritage Sites (exceptional places recognized for their outstanding universal value to humanity) and we were fortunate enough to visit one of them (Fortifications on the Caribbean Side of Panamá) plus explore several other cultural heritage sites that are uniquely Panamá (Panamá Viejo, Parque Natural Metropolitano, and the Panamá Canal).

If you like Latin culture, history, and flavors, I’d highly recommend adding Panamá to your travel list.

Things We Did

Day 1. Boat Tour through the Panamá Canal. Our first day in Panamá was an early morning to get to the marina for our six-hour canal tour. If you’re going to see the canal, I’d recommend taking the boat tour, because even though it takes more time, it’s worth it to experience being raised through the lock system versus viewing one tiny aspect of the canal from the tourist viewing platform.

The canal was just… cool. Think of it as a water elevator, but with no engines or pumps. It works by using a system of locks to lift and lower ships, connecting them to Gatun Lake, which is where we officially exited the canal. Along our route we saw the Bridge of the Americas and passed underneath it, saw the amazing city skyline, and went through several locks along with large cargo ships going through on either side of us. Experiencing the ingenuity that make this one of the Seven Wonders of the Modern World was pretty, well… cool.

• Tip: If your reservation recommends being there 45 minutes early, you might ask more questions. This was highly unnecessary, cut into valuable sleep (up at 4am!), and nothing was open when we got there. Also, double check the location for the tour meet-up, because our original address was incorrect, and we had to get a second uber to take us to the correct spot. It’s not entirely intuitive for this area, but the good news was it felt very safe given it was pitch black dark outside.
• Another Tip: Don’t worry quite so much about your initial seating, because people stand all the time, blocking your view if you do want to stay seated. Plan to move around, to stand your ground, and to deal with some rude tourists.

Day 2. Explored the Parque Natural Metropolitano. Just a short uber ride (20 min?) from Casco Viejo is the city park, aka metro park, aka Parque Natural Metropolitano. This was an unplanned excursion, and came about because one of the number one rules about travel is to remain flexible. We were supposed to go kayaking and birding on this day, but our guide never showed up, and due to weather (downpouring rain much of the days even though we were supposed to be in the beginning stages of dry season), we moved our planned tour to a different day and asked for tips on what we could do instead. This park was highly recommended by several people, so we opted to give it a try. It’s a lush, tropical forest and nature reserve in the middle of the city and is the only city-based natural park in Latin America. It has wonderful hiking trails – we did two moderate and one easy – with lots of steep hills and inclines, and an amazing variety of birds, wildlife and nature. However, it was also so humid that I thought we might die. We hiked probably around 2.5 miles, taking our time for the hills and views, listening to the nearby sounds of the howler monkeys and Mealy Amazon birds, and got caught in a full downpour that made me recall scenes from Romancing the Stone (minus the romance or the stone). This day, while unplanned, was really quite fabulous.

• Birds Identified: 1. Orange-Billed Sparrow, 2. Squirrel Cuckoo, 3. Red-Throated Ant Tanager, 4. Eastern Wood Pewee, 5. Mealy Amazon, 6. Long-Billed Gnatwren.
• Wildlife: Howler Monkeys and Agoutis.

Day 3. Day Trip to Portobelo and Caribbean. We really wanted to see the old forts and the Caribbean waters, so we used a guide company to take us on a very long day trip. The drive through the National Forest area was beautiful with fog and rain, and then the road to Portobelo turned rough and long. My senses were assaulted by our guide who not only continually bombarded us with history using his ultra loud and booming voice but when he wasn’t speaking, his obsession with loud jazzy elevator music and noises made from playing hand percussions on his steering wheel while whistling to the beat made me want to throat punch him on more than one occasion. He was a very nice guy, but had no clue on how to read his audience. Aside from that part of the experience, the boat ride through the Veinas Azules and clear waters connecting to the Caribbean Sea was incredible. We opted to not snorkel, and instead enjoyed the fresh pineapple and mango that our boat driver provided while soaking up some sun and sea.

We stopped at a little spot to get out and walk in the water, and to our surprise, a huge family of howler monkeys showed up. It was mesmerizing to watch them swing around from tree to tree, climbing up and down, and grabbing things to eat. The wildlife box was sufficiently checked. Thinking how fortunate we were to have this experience, we climbed back into the boat to head back to the launch spot and continue on with our day. But the wildlife kingdom wasn’t done with us yet, because much to our delight, on the boat ride back we discovered not one — not two — but three sloths hanging out in trees near the water’s edge. It was so incredible to see them.

After our boating excursion we headed to the town of Portobelo, where the famous explorer/colonizer/enslaver (aka Christopher Columbus) first arrived in 1502. My friend and I both love history that we can see up close and personal, and on our list for this day was to visit the Church of the Black Christ, which was originally built in the 17^th century and rebuilt in 1814 after Captain Morgan destroyed it, the Casa Congo, and the Castillo de Santiago de la Gloria, the UNESCO endangered site that was built in 1629 and rebuilt in 1753.

A day trip to Portobelo is well worth it if you’re staying in Panamá City. It makes for a long day but there are lots of options for how you can customize your trip.

Day 4. Birding and Wildlife Spotting on the Pipeline Road. Today was everything I’d hoped it would be and the entire reason I’ve wanted to visit Panamá. Our guides were incredible in both spotting and identifying wildlife, but also in giving us the right amount of history and information. The Pipeline Road is located in the Soberanía National Park, a tropical rainforest and a globally renowned biodiversity hotspot that was originally built during World War II for an unused oil pipeline. It serves as a key scientific research site and a top location for spotting hundreds of bird species (over 400!).

Our guide, Lourdes, worked for the Smithsonian for ten years before becoming a full-time guide, and her knowledge of the forest and fauna, including ant colonies, frogs, and fruit flowers serving brunch for the monkeys, was amazing. We slow-walked the forest path as light filtered down through the thick canopy of leaves, listening for sounds, and using scopes to spot the winged wonders. We got to see both species of monkeys, and enjoyed hummingbirds zipping all around at the Panamá Rainforest Discovery Center. We climbed the 650-foot tall observation tower to enjoy the top of the forest canopy, and even under overcast skies and threats of rain, it was a marvelous experience.

• Birds Identified: 1. Yellow-Rumped Cacique, 2. Mealy Amazon, 3. Grey-Headed Tanager, 4. Scarlet-Rumped Casique, 5. Red-Capped Manakin, 6. Red-Lored Parrot, 7. Spotted Antbird, 8. Slaty-Tailed Trogons, 9. Palm Tanager, 10. Song Wren, 11. Black-Crowned Antshrike, 12.Bright-Rumped Attila, 13. Ruddy-Tailed Flycatcher, 14. Dot-Winged Antwren, 15. Black-Breasted Puffbird, 16. Streak-Chested Antpitta (heard), 17. Brown-Capped Tyrannulet (heard), 18. Squirrel Cuckoo, 19. Chestnut-Backed Antbird, 20. Keel-Billed Toucan, 21. Mangrove Swallow, 22. Tropical Kingbird, 23. Rufescent Tiger Heron, 24. Black-Bellied Whistling Duck,  25. Northern Jacana, 26. Long-Billed Hermit, 27. White-Necked Jacobin
• Other Species: howler monkeys, frog eggs, blue morpho butterfly, hourglass tree frog, capuchin monkey, coati, caiman, agouti

Day 5 (and really, every day). Casco Viejo, Old Churches, and Markets. Panamá Viejo was founded in 1519, and the history is rich with stories of pirates, settlers, destruction and rebuild. We explored the cobblestone streets, the vibrant shops, and historic churches of Casco Viejo a lot, because it’s all right there mixed in and around the hotels we stayed at. We also took an uber to the Mercado de Artesanías de Balboa to see the Guna artisans and authentic molas as well as browse for souvenirs. We had seafood at the Mercado de Marisco at the Cinta Costera Causeway, and took our life in our own hands crossing the highway to wander the fresh fruits and vegetable stalls at the San Felipe Neri Public Market. While we visited most of the old churches in Casco Viejo, the one that stands out is the St. Francis Assisi church, because you can climb the stairs to the top of the tower which provides wonderful views of the surrounding areas and ships out at harbor. The stairs aren’t for the feint of heart, so be mindful of that if this is on your list. And don’t miss the Avenue of Hats and streets decorated with flags – there are a couple of them in the old city, and they’re fun to wander down.

• Birds Identified Out and About: 1. Ruddy Ground-Dove, 2. Brown Pelicans, 3. Great-Tailed Grackles, 4. Great Kiskadees, 5. Great Egret, 6. Great Blue Heron, 7. Magnificent Frigatebirds, 8. Kingfisher, 9. Anhinga, 10. Osprey

Additional Tips:

• The Museo de la Mola is free and interesting to pop into for a brief stop to learn some of the Guna culture and to see their handiwork.
• Most of the churches are free to step inside, but a couple of them do have a nominal fee. It usually cost if you wanted to light a candle.
• Cuban cigars can be purchased here in Panamá. Just don’t tell your customs and border patrol agents upon reentry to the U.S. Look for the guy sitting on an entry way stoop selling straight out of the box, versus the official expensive cigar shop. It’s just as authentic, and more fun to negotiate with the independent seller.

• The Sofitel Legend Hotel has a giant mural you can pop into and take a look at if you like to encounter some local art.
• Victor’s Panamá Hats in Casco Viejo is the spot for your authentic hat and has been around for over 100 years.
• Ubers are a fantastic way of getting around locally in Panamá City. They’re cheap, and felt very secure. Most of the drivers don’t speak English, so be prepared to use your phone for translation if you don’t know Spanish.

Getting There. It was a smooth sailing travel day, everything was on time, and immigration was the sparsest and fastest I’ve ever experienced. We were through the entire immigration and customs system within five minutes. It’s a little bit of a journey from the airport to Casco Viejo, but an easy uber drive and plenty of skyline to look at along the way.

• One note for logistics. We had really wanted to stay one night on the Caribbean side near Portobelo, but kept running into barriers. We didn’t want to rent a car for just a two-day trip but couldn’t find any other feasible options besides multiple bus transfers, which we also didn’t want to do for sake of limited time. In the end, we opted to just do a long day trip with a guide, which worked out well, because once we saw the area we were trying to stay overnight in, we decided it wouldn’t have been what we were hoping for. This is a good example of embracing the travel rule of staying flexible and things always work out.

Lodging. We stayed in Casco Viejo the entire time, changing accommodations just once. Five nights in the old town was probably two nights too many, but it was a good home base for our trip and both of our lodging spots were great.

• Central Hotel Panamá. A larger scale higher end hotel (compared to places I’ve stayed at in other Latin countries) that had wonderful concierge service, fantastic restaurants (their ceviche on the third floor is a must), and if you’re into operatic music, you might get to experience the practices and performances of a local group that used the space daily while we were there. I, for one, was really sick of hearing music from the Phantom of the Opera by the time we checked out, but maybe it’s something you’d enjoy. We never did learn if this was a seasonal thing, who the group was, or why it was in the hotel when the opera house was just down the street. This hotel is centrally located to the main square, and an easy to walk to literally every shop and the waterfront from the front door.
• Las Clementinas. The most adorable boutique hotel, with an incredible restaurant and food, outdoor patio dining if you don’t mind the humidity, and a lovely courtyard to enjoy. Location is still in old town, but a few blocks up from the other location, and not quite as centrally located for exploring. The rooms were spacious, clean, and comfortable, and this was one of my favorite spots I’ve ever stayed at in a Latin country.

The Food. Oh. My. Word. The food. Especially the seafood. I don’t think I can adequately describe the flavors and deliciousness of the seafood that we were able to enjoy. All I know is that if I ever have a long enough layover in Panamá, it would be worth leaving the airport to revisit some of these amazing spots.

• Seafood Ceviche at the Bistro Central Restaurant on the third floor of Central Hotel Panamá. It was divine. Literally the best we had, and we had it several times. The restaurant also serves really hearty and delicious pizzas if you’re craving a bit of comfort food.
• Caribbean Coconut Fish at Mahalo restaurant at the Las Clementinas hotel. Quite possibly one of the best meals I’ve had. We ate at this restaurant for brunch one day, dinner a couple of nights, and breakfast before flying out. The food was outstanding every single meal, and the atmosphere was terrific.
• Fried fish, fried shrimp, calamari, and coconut rice at Casa Congo Restaurante in Portobelo. Not the healthiest, but so fresh and mouth-watering, with an open-air patio to stare at the water and chillax while sipping some drinks and satisfying your hunger.
• Seafood Tacos and Piña Coladas at Marea in Casco Viejo. We ate here a couple of times, mostly because the atmosphere was chill, the drinks were fresh, and tacos were amazing.
• La Promesa at the Mercado de Marisco was good, but there are so many restaurant options it might be overwhelming if you’re already tired.

To wrap it up, Panamá was amazing. It fed my love of nature (forests and oceans), wildlife (sloths plus both kinds of monkeys!) and birds (41 species of birds), and most importantly, it fed my traveler’s soul.

Reflecting on 2025

“Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn, a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter. If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life.” ~ Ten Thousand Flowers in Spring by Wu-Men

2025 felt like a grass fire that kept flaring up in different spots – the kind that just when you think the fire is out, it sparks up again in a different spot. Again… and again… and again… Confession: My mind did not feel unclouded most of the year, and I did not feel like I was in the best seasons of my life. Lesson: There is plenty of room for growth. Always.

It was a really hard year. Part of growth, for me, is taking stalk and reflecting on the lessons and learnings from the past year, and considering the hopes going forward

• What am I ready to leave behind in 2025?

It was a year of learning about all kinds of medical things. The learnings I’ll keep, the experiences I’m okay with leaving behind.

• Where did I grow, even if no one else saw?

New jobs, better life balance. After 25 years of nonprofit work I shifted to a “corporate” day job with a publishing company. I also started behavioral health coaching with a start-up company two evenings a week supporting youth mental health. I learned a bazillion new systems, a gazillion new acronyms, and how to check in with myself on the daily.

• What makes me feel the most like myself?

Time in nature, even if only from the deck. Bulldog snuggles. Kitchen dance parties. Planning an adventure. Sitting by a firepit. Listening to good music. Moving my body with walking and lifting weights.

The glimmers are all around us – we just have to practice paying attention to them. So many things come to mind when looking back at the year, but notable positives included a fall trip to northwest Arkansas to sit by a firepit and unplug, a trip with one of my best friends to cross Panamá off from my bucket list (separate post to come covering the trip), and seeing the Northern Lights from our back yard.

• How am I nurturing myself?

Along the way I started using the HappyFeed app (highly recommend!) because I needed to be intentional about finding the positives (hello, 200+ daily streak!). I continue to meet weekly with my peer coach, which was instrumental in supporting small forward movement, tiny step by tiny step, through all the sludge of 2025.

• What am I the most grateful for from 2025?

Here’s where I land: I don’t really care about whatever intentions I had coming into this year. I don’t really even care if I accomplished anything (I’m positive I did, but it’s not worth listing out). I’m grateful for experienced medical professionals who provide incredible service to their patients, from the check in staff to the nurses to the specialists. I’m thankful for the flexibility to continue to work from home. I’m grateful I was laid off when I was so I could devote 24/7 care and attention to JoJo for several weeks. I’m grateful she still has vision. I’m grateful for advances in medicine and immunotherapy. I’m thankful for a new profession and a company with a team that I am really enjoying. I’m grateful for and in awe with the brain’s capacity to continue to learn beyond our perceived limits. I’m thankful for meaningful work with supporting youth mental health through behavioral health coaching.

• What am I learning?

I’m learning more about flexibility and letting go of pre-conceived ideas. I’m learning how to be rooted while being in the flow. I’m learning to be intentional about my time. I’m leaning into my awareness of energy, and honoring what’s present. That may not sound like a lot, but it is. And I believe it’s enough.

As we close the book on 2025 and open 2026, here are some prompts I’m sitting with:

• What do you want to be experiencing?
• What energy do you want to carry through the year?
• How will you check in with yourself? How will you tend to yourself when things get hard?
• Are you moving through your world in a way that feels aligned? What might need to shift?

“I am rooted, but I flow.” ~ Virginia Woolf

I hope 2026 is a kind year. I hope it brings deep, meaningful experiences, whether they’re big or small. I always hope for an adventure to a new country. I hope to finally tackle some of the smaller house projects that have been on my list for an eternity. I hope to be able to take breaks out in nature. I hope to be on trails more than I was in the past year. I hope to see my friends more often than I have been. And most of all, I hope that my spirit finds ways to flourish.

Happy New Year, Friends. I hope it’s a good one for us all.

The Gift of Time and Space

I’m not quite sure how it’s possible, but we’ve fully entered the final month of 2024. I bet your email inbox has looked a lot like mine, bombarded with months-long Black Friday deals and ads, so I’m hoping this message makes it through the clutter because I wanted to reach out with a few updates and offerings with the hope of piquing your curiosity.

You may have seen a post from me several months ago that celebrated achieving my ACC credential with the International Coaching Federation. It was quite a milestone and I’m proud to be part of a professional coaching body that upholds incredibly high ethics and standards. I’ve been working with clients and spending time thinking about how beneficial and fun coaching is, and what kind of coaching opportunities I want to provide in the new year.

Holistic Coaching.
Which brings me to this: I have a coaching package designed to help create greater balance through holistic well-being. 

Reflecting on the past year, if you could go back to January 1, what suggestions would you give yourself? What needs to become clear for you as we enter a new year? What would you like to experience more of?

Big questions, I know. 

Coaching can help — because Holistic Coaching is a process that supports you in integrating mind, body and spirit to help you cultivate a more fulfilling life.

Give the Gift of Time and Space.
With the hustle and bustle of the holidays and gift giving upon us, consider giving yourself or someone you know the gift of time and space with a coaching package. It’s a great way to begin the new year discovering what’s important to you and digging deeper into creating more of what you really want in life.

Prioritize Yourself. 
The world can feel like a dumpster fire with lots of things we can’t control. Focusing inward supports you so that you can shine your light for those who need it most. Let’s make this next year one where we find some peace, take the time to slow down, consider priorities, and listen to that internal guidance system we all have. 

If you’re curious how coaching might help, let’s chat! Know someone who may be curious or interested, too? Feel free to forward this on! Want to learn more about all this coaching stuff? Check out my website at www.forthviewstrategies.com or meander through some of my blog posts where I share a variety of musings.

Whether you’re interested in coaching or not, I truly hope you find some joy and peace this season and have some strategies in place to support you in the new year. You are valued, you have amazing gifts and talents, and the world needs more of that.

Shine on, my friends. Shine on. 

Passing the ICF Credentialing Exam

This post is for my fellow ICF and holistic coaches who are preparing for their credentialing exam. All information was accurate as of July 2024.

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I have recently passed the ICF Credentialing Exam and was able to pass it in on the first try. I’m not sure if this is an accurate assessment of having the skillset I was being tested on, or simply guessing correctly on some of the answers, or more likely, a combination of both of those factors.

I spent countless hours studying, reading materials, recording notes to listen to while I walked, listening to podcasts, youtube videos, and taking the Lyssa deHart prep course. Because there is so much anxiety around this test in the coaching field, I wanted to share the things that helped me the most, in the hopes that it will help someone else.

Create a Note Sheet and write it out before beginning the test. I crafted a note sheet that worked for me and then practiced writing it out every single day, several times a day, until it became rote memory for me. Several times during the test I referenced my note sheet, so I believe this was helpful. It included the below items:

• Acronyms from Lyssa deHart’s course (https://academy.lyssadehart.com/course/icf-credentialing-exam-prep).
• Acronyms for the Competencies from LifeCoachElise on Youtube (https://youtu.be/4Hl4HGvfpWU?si=ISDpWtKAJb8bFUfy)
• At the top of the page I wrote reminders of “Believe in the Client”, “Support the Learning Journey”, “Partnership – What feels Most Coach Like?” and “Inward/Outward.”
• To the right of the page I wrote reminders to myself of “Breathe.” And “Notice the Verbs and What They’re Doing” and “Most/Least Aligned” and “Don’t Overthink or Add.” I also wrote in big letters, “Coach the Person, Not the Problem.”

While I referenced the acronyms and competencies a few times, I didn’t feel there was enough time in the exam to try to align the question with “how many competencies is this hitting or violating.” The things I came back to the most were “What feels most coach like?” and “Coach the person, not the problem.”

Primary Materials to Study

• ICF Ethics AND the Interpretative Statements. One strategy I used was to record myself stating the ethics and the interpretative statements. One of my friends did this and recommended it, and I do think it was helpful. We took different approaches, though – she recorded all the interpretative statements which she said took her over an hour to do, and I wrote out a summary of the key things that stood out to me for the interpretative statements and recorded that summary. I also recorded myself reading the PCC Markers. I listened to these recordings while I was on a walk, and before I went to sleep.
• ICF PCC Markers. Using the same strategy as I did with the Ethics, I recorded the PCC Markers and listened to them several times a day. I focused on the PCC markers to have them more ingrained in my being so that when an answer option was out of alignment, it would hopefully be more instinctive to pick it out.
• The White Paper on When to Refer to Therapy. Review it several times. Picture yourself in the situations and thinking about when you might need to refer someone, or use direct communication about a concern of mental health.

I also found additional papers and resources talking about the competencies, and mostly immersed myself in videos on youtube about best practices, having a coaching mindset and maintaining presence.

I did not find the practice exams to be super helpful, other than the one video linked below from Certified Life Coach Institute that goes through the 8 ICF practice questions. The other practice exams I found through exam prep courses I think actually did me a disservice in that they made me question my abilities. However, from the procedural lens of the practice exam helping to get mentally ready for a scenario-based exam, practicing having to focus for longer periods of time, or becoming familiar with the concepts of “scenario plus best answer or scenario plus worst answer”, then it was helpful.

Videos I found Helpful

• The ICF Videos on Ethics (all located on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMBtOVpaN5DhGnQMkwdA6Mebib094zEgW)
• The ICF Lyssa deHart Competencies videos (all located on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7rCv1-mPEg&list=PLoZIwJKqQiy56Fy-muhSrpc0q1Zk8txH7)
• ICF 101: The Credentialing Exam from Certified Life Coach Institute (https://youtu.be/G9Fgmjt38DU?si=4XS1uu1P8IccR5-E) – I used the Emotions/Process/Assumptions concept from this video on my Note Sheet.
• Tips and Insights for the New ICF Exam (https://youtu.be/UV7qPOmHung?si=Mvc7XEGD-ZUElnaL)
• The Sandy and Dave Show, Ep 15 The ICF Credentialing Exam (https://youtu.be/JLMGb65B4dA?si=lhEEKKNnt3MonI56) – I took lots of notes from this that I referenced in studying.

Strategies I used

• The first half of my exam felt manageable and at times, even fun, like I was solving a puzzle. I found the strategy of reading the answers first, picking either the best or the worst that stood out, then I could discern between the remaining three once I referenced the scenario. This strategy did not work so well in the second half, where I felt like most of my answer sets were all bad options, none of which anyone would ever choose and the obvious “best” or “worst” was not easily found. I therefore had to read each scenario more closely to figure out the nuances as best I could.
• I used the strategy of “trashing” a question. Meaning, if I was feeling myself looping or totally stuck, or like I had zero idea of figuring it out, I picked an answer and considered it trashed. I didn’t flag it to go back to, I simply made a note on my white board to skip over that question in my review. In my second half of the test, I literally “trashed” my first 6 questions. They were awful scenarios with even worse answer options.
• I flagged questions, but on my whiteboard I made a note of the question number and B or W, so I knew if I was looking for the best or the worst option. That helped me when I went back to review (ex. 9W meant I was looking for the worst answer in question 9). It helped to know which direction I was trying to discern. In my first half I only flagged 6 questions and trashed 1. But in my second half I flagged 15 and trashed 6.

Get Your Mindset Right

• Meditate. Get in the practice of meditating before you go to take the exam, so you’re in a practice of centering, grounding, and anchoring to your breath (or whatever you anchor to). This helped tremendously. I also meditated in my car before I went in for the exam.
• Tapping (EFT). Tapping was a more recent strategy I incorporated. I wrote out 20 positively stated affirmations, and went through the tapping strategies to help regulate emotions. When I found myself getting tired in the exam or starting to mentally spiral, I went back to tapping for a round or two.
• Envision the passing score you want. Say it out loud. Put it in the universe. Ask others to also envision it. Give that number life. I firmly believe this helped me. I started doing this about 10 days before my exam.

Additional Tips

Let me preface this part by saying I consider myself to be in the “HSP – Highly Sensitive People” category. I have been all my life, and while I do not have any diagnoses, I did consider asking for accommodations. In the end, I didn’t get that done, but had I not passed the first time, I likely would have asked for some accommodations for round two. Below are the things I did to help myself.

• Take ibuprofen before your exam in case your chair isn’t comfortable, or you get tension headaches.
• Noise cancelling headphones were provided at my Pearson Vue center, and they worked well but they also gave me a huge pressure ache in my jaw and head because they were so tight. They did work well at blocking out any noise and helping me anchor to my heartbeat, which I could clearly hear.
• Ear plugs were provided but they were cheap awful ones and they wouldn’t let me use mine which I’d brought. I would have preferred my earplugs over the headphones.
• Glasses had to be scanned and no glasses case was allowed in. I wear contacts, so I took in a pair of reading glasses in case I needed them, but had my regular glasses in my locker in case something happened with my contacts.
• No water was allowed in. I was so parched in each section it was awful, but I also scaled back on drinking my water that morning so I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom during the 90-minute sections.
• My chair swiveled so that helped with fidgety feelings but I also wore a ring I could spin and fidget with since I’m used to a mesh ball or stone heart held in my hand.
• I took eye drops and used them on my break because I have such severe dry eyes. These were stored in my locker with all my other belongings.
• I kept my phone in airplane mode and did not access it during the break, even though I was allowed to. I didn’t want any additional distractions. Five minutes goes by really quickly if you have to use the restroom, get some water, and be scanned back into the exam center.
• I took an allergy pill the morning of the exam so I wasn’t sniffly, because my allergies had been acting up in recent days.

On my five-minute break I left the computer to get some water and use the restroom, and while I was fast, I then had to wait for the chatty monitor lady who was explaining in way too many details all the rules to a guy who just getting started with checking in. I finally interrupted to ask if she could check me back in because she was cutting into my exam time. I lost around 3 valuable minutes of my second half due to having to wait to be scanned back in. This could easily happen to others, and had I not apologetically interrupted, I feel that I may have lost as much as 10 minutes.

At the end of it all, I passed. I felt a huge sense of relief and sat in my car for several minutes while the emotions settled and I could gather my thoughts to drive home. For me, the hardest part of this exam is not getting any feedback – I don’t know what I did well on, what I need to do better on, if I got the questions correct that I felt solid in, or if I was just a lucky guesser. I’m a better coach because of all the hours of studying and preparing, and have learned so many things that weren’t covered in my coach training course, but I firmly believe there is a better way for the ICF to ascertain the skills and competencies of coaches for credentialing.

I wanted this credential. I didn’t need it. It doesn’t actually allow me to do anything that I wasn’t already doing. But it represents a high standard. I encourage others to strive for it, even if you have to take the exam more than once. As Lyssa deHart frequently says, “You’re either passing or practicing.” So believe in yourself – do the work to prepare, and then trust that you’ve got what it takes.

When is It Time to Quit?

Stressed Out. Burned Out. Inconsistent. Unmotivated. Unengaged. Angry. Depressed. Vigilant.

Do any of these descriptors resonate? If so, it might be time to evaluate what’s going well in your life, and what might be lacking. And if these words are indicative of your job situation, it might be time to consider if it’s time to quit.

It’s been a year since I stepped into the unknown and left a career I’d been in for nearly 25 years. I not only changed organizations and the type of job I was doing, but I also enrolled in a coaching program and started my own LLC business. Not knowing where either path would wind up (news flash – it’s an ongoing journey), the change felt risky – yet I intuitively knew that it was right. I knew I had to get out of the toxic environment I was in. My core values no longer aligned with the place I was working, and no matter how much advocating for change I was doing, there were no indicators that it was ever going to get better. It was time for me to leave.

Sadly, I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. A whopping 83% of US workers suffer from work-related stress; more than half (60 percent) of worker absences are directly related to that stress; and 1 in 4 employees report experiencing burnout over chronic work-related stress that has not been managed successfully. (TrainingMag, May 2023, p.16)

My decision to leave started almost a full year before I actually left. All the signs of a toxic work environment and burnout had been present for quite some time. Yet I hung in there for several reasons. I believed in the work we were doing. I believed in making a difference. I loved the team I was leading. I have a high sense of responsibility and commitment. I had flexibility in my schedule and autonomy over my days. I needed the income and the benefits. And it became a dance of finding a place that had a positive, supportive culture and values that aligned with mine. This was much harder to locate than I thought it would be. It took time to find a landing spot that I felt would be a good fit. Remember, an interview is not just a prospective organization interviewing you… you are also interviewing them.

I’ve participated in hours of coaching around values and work environments and resolving some of the feelings that led to my resignation, which I’m sharing below, in the hopes that it may help someone else – either before you reach the stage of burnout, or if that’s where you’re currently at, validating that it’s okay to make a decision of choosing yourself and your well-being and making a change.

It’s hard to summarize years of work reaching a pinnacle of burnout in a short-enough blog post. So without going into all the details, I’m sharing the things that were most important to me in making my decision. 

1. Reaching Burnout. Burnout is not something I ever expected to experience, but I distinctly remember going into the holiday season a few years ago feeling completely drained and devoid of any care. I took time off over the holidays hoping that would rejuvenate my energy, but I came back to work and in a meeting with my supervisor, I had a complete and uncharacteristic meltdown. This was new territory. The response from my supervisor? Nothing helpful. Proactively, I accessed our agency EAP program (employee assistance program, offering free, confidential counseling services). And when my EAP counselor bluntly asked me when I was going to quit, I knew I had the validation that what I was experiencing was serious and I needed to pause to evaluate what changes I needed to make.
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2. Working in a toxic environment with a rapidly declining culture. I could write pages about what I experienced in the last 3 years of my long tenure, but I’m going to summarize it in very short order. Staff in positions of power demonstrating malicious and vindictive attacks toward others, management continuing to promote toxic “leaders” from within, retaliation for speaking up and naming things that needed to be called out, an attempt at maligning my character, and colleagues in positions of authority who chose to take a passive approach, turned a blind eye, and refused to exercise true leadership. When the last resort is reaching out to the board of directors, and they don’t respond, you are quite literally out of options.
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3. Isolation. I had a very strong team that I led. They were each amazing people with unique talents and strengths that I appreciated and valued. I hope they felt led by someone who cared. I also had a peer team comprised of highly ethical, qualified, responsible, creative leaders. Through a series of events led by what I can only describe as a personal agenda, my peer team was dismantled in a matter of months, with each of them resigning in mass succession. That left me feeling very isolated, with only one remaining trusted colleague out of another division, and nowhere else to turn (see point above).
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4. The last straw. I can actually name a specific date when my decision to leave was cemented. It arrived during a mandatory supervisors “retreat” that held a keynote topic at noon titled “When Everyone Leads”, encouraging everyone at any position to exercise leadership, to a closing session at 4pm with a ventriloquist who included a skit that used me as a direct target of sexual harassment for nearly 10 minutes. And no one intervened. To this day, it is still unfathomable to me that one of my last experiences at this organization was being sexually harassed, and then witnessing additional aggressions that were allowed to continue, including sexually inappropriate references and innuendos, predatory suggestions, inappropriate behavior and microaggressions toward people of color, misogyny, sexism, and ageism. All the while, 12 individuals in the room were of higher positions than me, including our CEO, CFO, HR director, 5 program directors, and 4 assistant directors. No one spoke up. I am usually very good at compartmentalizing my emotions and evaluating things from multiple perspectives. I am not one who exaggerates. Yet this experience disrupted my sleep, increased my anxiety levels, and dominated my thoughts for weeks. It impacted my energy level and my ability to focus on my work. The ventriloquist is at fault for not knowing his audience and for his inappropriate content. But for me, the lack of action by leadership was more damaging than the experience itself, and the inability to take responsibility and have accountability was one of the greatest disappointments of my tenure at this organization.

Four weeks later I was offered a job at an organization I had heavily vetted, and I accepted. As I’m approaching my first work anniversary at my new place, I still feel thankful to have landed at the place I did. It’s been a good spot to decompress, experience strong and supportive leaders, learn new skills, and to witness a passion for the work. No place is without its faults – but where I am now is a stark contrast to where I came from.

Awareness of how you’re feeling and doing is 90% of the battle. When we’re so busy that we can’t pause long enough to process our own internal emotions and thoughts, we set ourselves up for burnout. Taking the time to work through the emotions, thoughts, feelings, and impacts on my health and well-being has been instrumental in me moving forward in a healthy manner.

Some of the questions that have been helpful for me to work through include:

• What are my values and do they align with where I am working?
• Do I feel seen and heard? How is this demonstrated?
• What might be possible with this change? What might be positive? What might the hope be?
• What are things I can do to take care of myself and the stress or unease this may be causing?
• What do I want to be experiencing in my job?
• What are my must-haves in an organization?
• What’s the feeling I’m looking for in my work?
• Imagine turning in your resignation: how does that make you feel?

It can be incredibly hard to realize that your values no longer align with the place you’ve committed years of your life and countless hours to, particularly in a nonprofit that has a mission of doing good. It’s disheartening to recognize the level of toxicity that exists at the highest levels, and to feel like positive change is never going to occur. It’s difficult to explore every possible avenue of solutions to only find dead ends, and to discover the negative impacts it’s having on your health and well-being and general happiness.

Maybe you have an easier time of quitting than I do. But regardless of how easy or hard it is, it’s a very personal decision, and one that benefits from having support along the way. The hardest part of my decision to leave was telling my team. And even in the midst of that stress, one of my team acknowledged how even in exiting my position I was still exercising true leadership. I was doing the things to ensure to the best of my ability that they would be okay and the work could continue without me. I will always remember her saying to me that she hoped the emotional response I was seeing from my team reacting to my news wasn’t putting guilt on me, but instead, reminding me of how loved and appreciated I was.

In response to the mass exodus, the quiet quitting, the levels of burnout, and the toxic work cultures, many organizations are implementing wellness programs and providing resources that aim to bolster employee’s well-being. But that doesn’t mean employees will utilize it. Leaders need to step up and lead the charge – both in terms of helping employees openly cope with mental health issues and challenges, as well as serving as role models for self-care. And if leaders really want to make a difference, the hope is that they’ll take the time to do the inner work and reflection to see how they, themselves, might be contributing to the declining culture. It’s only when we can take the honest, hard looks, that we can start to make real change for the better – whether that’s organizationally, or individually.

Coaching Can Help. If you need help with processing some of these decisions and feel like a thought-partner could help, I highly recommend coaching. Reach out to connect – I’d be honored to support you in your path forward to a better, healthier, more balanced life.

Counseling is Critical. If you’ve experienced trauma or a significant event, including microaggressions, that has impacted you negatively, or you’re experiencing feelings of depression, sadness, despair, anger, anxiety or feeling completely out of your normal mental state, please find a counselor or therapist. Many organizations have partnered with an EAP program (Employee Assistance Program) which is confidential, and free to access. The information will be in your benefits guide. Many insurance companies also co-pay for counseling services. And if you feel like you might be in crisis, please call 988 to speak with someone or access additional resources.

If you’ve been in burnout, what helped you come out on the other side?

You don’t have to make major life decisions alone. I thankfully had good support from my husband, my coach, and my peer/friend group. Trust your intuition – it is speaking! We just need to pause long enough and be in a space where we can hear the knowledge and inner knowing.

If it’s your time to quit, I encourage you to take that brave, next step to support yourself and your well-being. It’s absolutely okay to put yourself first. We can do hard things.

No. 24 in ‘24: Belize

After a several-year hiatus from international travel, 2024 has finally brought back the use of my passport. On practically a whim we found flights to Belize and of all the places I’ve been, the waters of Belize might be the most mesmerizing. That’s what I tell people when they ask how Belize was and what we enjoyed the most. It’s the truth. But I also tell people that of all the Latin countries I’ve visited, Belize might be one of my least favorites. Let me explain…

I love Latin countries particularly because of the culture. I love the vibrant communities, the warm and exuberant people, the various cultural subgroups, the colorful buildings and doors, and I love meandering in the towns to find something unexpected. I got none of that on this trip, and it wasn’t for lack of looking. Even with having Mayan ruins in the country, there did not appear to be an identified Mayan cultural group or language (and I asked several locals!), and the town of San Pedro was so bland and overrun with golf carts that it just wasn’t that fun. Perhaps if we’d had more time and ventured inland, we’d have discovered the culture I was seeking, but being predominantly on the long and narrow island of Ambergris Caye did not provide culture past the vast amounts of tourists. Belizeans speak English, so that part is easy for traveling, but I found that I really missed hearing the Spanish language and the effort and creative ways of communicating when you’re in a country where you don’t speak each other’s languages fluently. We asked a few of our guides to share their Creole language with us, and we both really enjoyed hearing it and being exposed to something new. So, what I tell people is that if you enjoy being beachfront with a beverage in hand for the majority of your travel, this might be a country for you. Sure, there are places to explore and things to do, and yes, we had a really great time. But Belize just wasn’t my vibe, and that’s okay. The purpose of this trip was to get away, use our passports, ease my husband into international travel (Belize was his first!), and relax. We accomplished all those things and more.

Getting there

While Belize shouldn’t be a difficult trip, it somehow ended up being a super tiring travel day. Our flight was a 7am flight, and our alarm was for 2:30am. By the time we got to our resort, it was 5:45pm, with no time zone changes. That makes a very long travel day, and we can’t even blame a lengthy layover.

Customs and immigration in Belize took about an hour to clear after standing in a slow-moving, winding line. It took about 20 minutes to secure a taxi and another 25 minutes to ride to the water. Plan accordingly because you’ll need to arrive 30 minutes early before the scheduled ferry you plan to take and note that food options are lacking, and it wasn’t recommended that we wander around to look for something to eat. Time traveling by boat to the first stop, Caye Caulker, took an hour plus time to unload people and supplies, then it was another 30-minute ferry to Ambergris Caye and the town of San Pedro. We stayed at X’tan Ha which is at mile marker 7.2 (25 min north of town) and were glad we’d arranged for the resort to pick us up. After that long of a travel day the idea of making our own way to the resort via golf cart didn’t seem appealing, particularly when the streets are jammed with golf carts, and it felt like frenzied chaos to us both. Brian commented on the drive north, “It’s a good assumption that all vehicles on this strip of land have shocks that are shot.”

Our resort was amazing. At the end of the day, we found ourselves mesmerized from an upper-level balcony view of the water, smiles on our faces, having enjoyed fresh seafood and drinks while listening to the sounds of the ocean waves.

Things We Did

• Beach Walks. Beach walks sound great, which we did enjoy but just note that in Belize, you can only go so far before you run into an insane amount of seaweed (and washed-up trash). Tip: Make sure you book a resort that cleans their beaches regularly so you can better enjoy your experience. X’tan Ha does an amazing job at this!
• Secret Beach. It’s not so-secret, but it is worth making the journey over. Rent a golf cart and head out. Tip: When you get there, venture left to find better spots for quiet relaxation in the crystal-clear waters.
• Snorkeling at Shark Ray Alley and Hol Chan Marine Reserve. The colors of the water are unbelievable, especially the closer to the reef you get. There is so much marine life! We saw lots of nurse sharks, including 2 pods of 4 together (8 at once) about 5 feet away from us at shark ray alley, and then another one at the reef hiding under a huge rock. Hol Chan is Mayan for ‘Little Channel,’ which refers to a natural break in the reef known as Hol Chan Cut. The nonaggressive sharks and rays are used to getting fed by tour boats, which makes it easier to get close to them. Tip: Go in the morning so you can come back to your room and take a much needed nap!
• Exploring San Pedro. Probably my least favorite thing we did, but we had some time to kill. We wandered in and out of the markets and art shops, dodged golf carts and motorbikes every minute, and sighed in relief when we headed back north to the quiet.
• Lamanai Mayan Ruins. Hands down our favorite day. See below for more details on this.
• Chillin’ at the Chat n Chill. Just north of our resort via golf cart was a perfect little beachside location that is a perfect spot for relaxing in some quiet solitude. Tip: Order the grouper tacos, rum punch, Belikin beer and margaritas. It’s all fantastic!
• El Norte. We had read that the owner of El Norte was a fun guy to meet and hang with, but this was not the energy we felt. Tip: Skip this unless you’re out and about and need to stop for a drink!

Lamanai Ruins. Getting there from San Pedro required a small boat ride from the resort with a 5:15am pick up, then a small plane ride to the mainland, then a driver taking us about an hour north, then another small boat ride for about an hour down the river to the ruins. Reverse to get back.

We devoured Johnny Cakes for breakfast (delish!) before hopping onto the small 13-passenger plane to Belize City which was so much fun with incredible views. We had the good fortune of a private day without paying for a private day, because the other people who were supposed to join us never showed up. The hour-long journey down the river was amazing. We chose the Lamanai ruins over the other options because of the river trek, thinking we’d likely see a lot of bird life. Our hunch was correct – there was so much wildlife! Because we were by ourselves with our guide, I got to drive the boat down the river for a while – my first time ever driving a boat in a foreign country!

The ruins were simply spectacular – there’s something so special about being with someone who is witnessing an archeological site for their very first time, and Mayan ruins are something I never get tired of experiencing. Lamanai is the second largest site in Belize, and it sits on the west bank of the New River Lagoon. It was first settled in 1000-700 BCE and includes the Temple of the Masks (which includes two 13-foot tall stucco masks flanking the sides), the Temple of the Jaguar rising over 7 levels to 96 feet tall (this is the one we climbed), and the High Temple standing at approximately the height of a 10-story building. The steps to the top of the temple are steep but the reward at the top is worth the climb. We were so fortunate to have the entire place to ourselves.

We marveled at the howler monkeys playing in the trees, and a small private lunch was provided for us at the ruins before we reversed the trip to get back to the island. Truly, this was a fantastic day and we highly recommend this excursion.

If you’re into nature sightings, below are the things we were able to identify on this trip. Several creatures were at our resort or along the trip over to Secret Beach, most of the birdlife was found along the river to the ruins, and all the marine life was seen while snorkeling (although a spotted eagle ray was right off the dock at our resort, too).

• Wildlife: Black Striped Iguana, Spiny Tail Iguana, Crocodile, Howler Monkeys
• Birdlife: Roseate Spoonbills, Hooded Orioles, White Egrets, Pelicans, Snowy Egrets, Frigate Birds, Tropical Mockingbird, Anhinga, Jabiru Stork, Cormorant, Lesser Nighthawk, Great Blue Heron, Mangrove Swallow, Anhinga, Green Backed Heron, Belted Kingfisher, Tropical Kingbird, Northern Jacana, Great Egret, Wood Stork, Black Collared Hawk (chestnut hawk), Brown Jays, Red Lored Parrots, Olive Throated Parakeets, Hooded Warbler, Osprey, Roadside Hawk
• Marine Life: Spotted Eagle Rays, Southern Rays, Great Barracuda, Small Grouper, Loggerhead Turtle, Black Angel Fish, Blue Striped Grunts, Hogfish, Blue Tang, Bermuda Chub, Black Triggerfish (my favorite little fishy), Parisfish

Tip: To follow an American ex-pat living in Belize who offers great tips and insights, check out @sanpedroscoop on Instagram or www.sanpedroscoop.com.

I know I said Belize wasn’t my favorite, but we truly had an amazing trip, and I’m more than happy we went, despite not getting a good dose of the Latin culture fix that I was hoping for. The icing on the cake for me was hearing the words “where to next?” Say no more! There’s always a never-ending list and so many places to go.

Everything is jiggy!

Ripple Effects

Ripple effects have been on my mind a lot lately… as in, what effects or impact are we having on others in making the world a better place, even if just for one person? What is the impact of our actions that ripple out in ways that we probably will never get to know about? 

A few weeks ago I had the honor and privilege of attending a finalization court hearing where a judge issued a final decree of “adoption” for a young lady who has been hoping for permanency for a very long time. It was a moving, emotional, and joyful experience, and in a small way, I played a part — as the mandated reporter who made the report, and as a friend with connections in a very complex system, allowing me to provide resources and support to a family who had never been involved in the overwhelming child welfare system before this point.

783 days is how long this journey has been. Supposedly the average length of time a child is in foster care in Kansas is a year. But, assuming reunification hasn’t happened, then begins the long road to adoption. If I’m reading the latest state report correctly, the average length of time that it takes for a child to “exit” out-of-home placement from foster care entry to finalization with adoption, is 41 months. By that measure, my friends had a “short” turn around.

The process is heart-wrenching and stressful, and at the center of it all is a child who didn’t ask for any of this disruption and stressful unknown.

I’m posting about this because for the majority of my professional life I’ve been working in the field of child abuse prevention. I’ve trained tens of thousands of adults on mandated reporting laws and statutes, procedures for making reports, how to prevent abuse and neglect from happening, how to support and strengthen families, and how to look at a systemic issue versus an isolated situation. I’m proud of the work I’ve been involved in, and in recent years, have been working with the state systems in evaluating and supporting the shifts happening from “see-something-say-something” to “let’s dig a little deeper before involving child protection services, and see if we, as a community of support, can help a family before things rise to the level of needing a child removed.” I’m all for this newer way of thinking about community support but with a cautious outlook.

There is a fine line between the supportive “family first” lens versus screening out reports and not taking a closer look. In this particular case I assume there were several reports made prior to mine. There were plenty of mandated reporters involved prior to me – and I have to give the benefit of the doubt that they made a report. If they didn’t, the failure is on the reporter. If they did, there’s a failure within our system – because I firmly believe this case should have been screened in earlier if a report was made. I also firmly believe that my report was screened in due to my connections and follow up with those in positions of authority, alerting them of my report and urging a closer look. I continue to wonder if reports were screened out prior to mine because of the trend to step away from intervening and possibly causing more harm with an investigation. Child welfare is complex, nuanced, and filled with lots of gray areas. The statutes are vague. The screening process can be inconsistent. Society is conditioned to be one of surveillance vs support. I’m thankful there are lots of incredible people working at the highest level to reform the process so it’s more equitable and preventative. While there’s a lot of work to be done still, it’s certainly come a long way.

Anyone can make a report. But even more importantly, anyone can provide support. It doesn’t take great big actions to help a family out. Consider the ripple effects you can have through dropping judgment and assumption and by being more present and connecting with others in a genuine, supportive way. Yes, reports will be needed; investigations will happen. But let’s also consider the role of helping each other out as each of our responsibilities – because it truly does take a village, and we all have the ability to make a difference.

In this particular story I’m grateful for the outcome where a child has a safe, stable, loving home and extended family, and I’m in awe of my friends for changing their entire life to make a selfless and immeasurable difference. Thanks for letting me come along for the ride.

Shine Your Light: 24 in 24

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Do you feel it? The mounting pressure to plan, create, set goals, be in motion and action, to do something, to be something? With the end of one year and the beginning of another there seems to be an energy whipping around that almost feels frenzied. We are firmly into the new year and yet everywhere I turn I still see messages about resolutions, intentions, goals, and expectations for making this year the “best year ever.” But what if I already had a great year and I don’t to be in competition with myself or others to make it even better? What if I don’t want to be pressured to change who I am or to accomplish something “big and great” (and by whose standards are we defining big and great, anyway?!)? I’m not saying don’t set goals or intentions if that’s your thing and it’s a healthy way of thinking for you. But I think sometimes the societal norms to always be in motion can cause us to miss great opportunities to simply pause and just “be” with yourself in a moment of rest and reflection.

The ending of one year and the beginning of another is a natural time to check in with yourself. But instead of leaping straight into the new, what if we took some time and checked in with ourselves in a supportive, celebratory way?

• How was your past year? How were your stress levels? What were your joys? How much did you laugh? What adventures did you take? What were things you’d hoped for that did or didn’t materialize? What made the year unforgettable? What was your biggest win in the last year? What’s one thing that changed about yourself (change is good!)?

At the beginning of 2023 I had created a list of things I wanted to do in the year, and I must confess, I wasn’t very good about remembering to check it, and consequently, only a few things were done that I’d written down. 

• Explore estate sales with my bestie.
• Take a weekend trip to NW Arkansas to relax.
• Visit the Lauritizen Gardens in Omaha. 
• Collect stories from Sherrill (incredibly grateful I did this before it was too late).
• Enjoy live music. 

But, in reflecting on my year, I also remembered that a lot of things were accomplished and experienced that I never even dreamed to put on my list… things like:

• Enroll in and complete a holistic coach training program.
• Create a business.
• Change jobs and try something new.
• Make a new lifelong friend.
• Unwind from years of toxic work stress levels.
• Cross off another state visited from the remaining list.
• Try earthing.

Did you end your year intentionally with reflections on the past and plans for the new?

While our lists and intentions can feel like a great starting point and something to perhaps guide the year, it also feels as though our lists can potentially box us in and prevent us from noticing the amazing things happening that we never even planned for. I love lists, but I think I’m going to start to include some blank lines at the bottom, to remind myself to remain open to those meaningful moments that life unexpectedly brings into my path.

“And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

A few months ago I stumbled upon the idea of creating a list of things to experience in the new year based on the numbered year we were in… such as, “24 in ’24” – meaning, 24 things in 2024. I’ve started my year with this framework and find it’s really resonating with me over setting intentions or goals. Things on my list include…

1. Create postcards from photos.
2. Surprise snail mail cards – set a schedule.
3. Kind Cards on Cars (you are enough; you don’t have to do it all; love what matters; you are perfect just the way you are; you matter)
4. Spread Good Cheer with a Cup of Calm (gift cards to coffee shop).
5. 24 Saturdays of morning calls calendar. Fill in Saturdays on the calendar of people you want to reconnect with. Grab a cup of coffee and call 1-2 and catch up. How are they? What are they excited about these days? Remind them why they’re super special to you.
6. Go on a photo field trip.
7. Try 24 new recipes.
8. Complete FWFG 30 Days of Yoga.
9. Take a photo a day for 30 days.
10. Take a photography class.
11. Practice with Duolingo every day for 30 days.
12. Take the “kids” out for lunch and/or a Sporting KC or KC Current game.
13. Take a Kansas Road Trip.
14. Do something fun with mom.
15. 24 hikes, minimum.
16. Take a weekend trip with my bestie.
17. Take a weekend trip with soulmate.
18. More: fire pit time, stand up paddle boarding, and fishing.
19. Visit Grandma more.
20. Fly somewhere and explore someplace new.
21. Learn to play the guitar, even if I’m awful at it.
22. Shenanigans with Costumes. I’m not offering any explanations here.
23. Explore a new state (one of a handful left on my list).
24. Paint the things that need painted (front door, shutters, swing, office).

Bonus Experiences

• _____________________________________
•  _____________________________________
• _____________________________________
• _____________________________________
• _____________________________________
• _____________________________________
• _____________________________________
• _____________________________________
• _____________________________________
• _____________________________________

Bonus Activities

1. Go roller skating
2. Go bowling
3. Try pickleball
4. Hamburger Mary’s Outing
5. Backyard friends summer gathering

Specific Trails to Consider

1. Weston Hills
2. Echo Cliff Park
3. Wilson State Park
4. Little Jerusalem State Park

I’ve been working on this list for several weeks, refining, adding, removing, and feel it’s at a pretty good stopping point. And while the things on the list are ones that excite me and energize me, I also find I’m equally as excited about the blank lines. Knowing I’ll be checking in with myself and having the opportunities to explore insights and awareness through coaching will undoubtedly help me in my awareness of jotting down the experiences that make up life – but maybe weren’t experiences that were on my original list.

How are you setting yourself up for the new year that feels good to you? Are you including intentions of being more aware, present, and in the flow? What needs to be in place so that you can be the “best” version of you? And to be clear, the best version of you may mean that you take better care of yourself, that you find a daily routine to pause or reflect, or that you unpack some of the blockers preventing you from being more relaxed. My suggestion for everyone is to resist the pressure to be more, create more, do more. Instead, let’s embrace the radical idea of pausing and taking care of ourselves, creating more space for the things that bring us joy and peace and meaning and fulfillment. Recently, my mentor coach said to us, “Fulfilled humans create a fulfilled world.” She shared a poem from Mary Oliver, and the ending lines resonate:

“…and you too have come into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.”

I hope this new year brings you amazing things that fill you, support you, and allow your light to shine. Happy New Year!

Changing Course

“Over the course of your life so far, perhaps this has been the first half, just a start. With the years you have lived behind you, you have begun to know your heart. Now that you know what is most important, build as much as you can into the next part.” ~ P. A. 

A friend and long-time mentor of mine sent me that message on my last birthday and it resonated so deeply with me that I’ve saved it in several locations. I’m firmly in the middle act of life, the time when many people have a great unraveling, a great realignment, a shift in perspective on what’s most important.

In our early adult years we try to answer the question, “What am I going to do in this life?” Build. Produce. Work hard. Sacrifice. All words fitting for this period of time.

But this phase of life, the one I’m in now, is asking “What’s the life that wants to live through me?”

Some call it a midlife crisis. Brené Brown calls it the Great Unraveling. Or as my friend and mentor worded it, “knowing your heart.” Realigning my values, expanding my awareness, being present to hear my heart and intuition… What’s the life that wants to live through me? 

The universe has a way of getting your attention. I’ve been feeling the nudges for quite some time. For me, gentle nudges turned into things I couldn’t ignore and I knew I needed to change course. But change can be scary. Risky. It’s really uncomfortable in the unknown for me. I’m working on that — because it’s here, in the unknown, that the magic happens.

Without knowing where it would lead or how powerful it would be, I enrolled in a coaching program accredited by the International Coaching Federation, the gold standard for coaching governance. I didn’t just choose any program, though — I specifically selected a program with a holistic framework because everything is interconnected and a holistic approach is important for harmony and well-being. For the past six months I’ve been expanding my awareness, dropping from my head to my heart, and really tuning into what feels important. The journey has been incredible.

Brené Brown’s post on The Midlife Unraveling summarizes this period of time as when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: “I’m not screwing around… There are unexplored adventures ahead… Courage and daring are coursing through your veins.”

Message received. As an introspective soul, adventurer, and continual learner, I’m forever grateful I trusted my intuition and took this leap. I am officially a Certified Holistic Coach, proud of the work that has been done and beyond excited for where those unexplored adventures are going to lead, the paths I’m going to come across, and the people I’ll have the honor of supporting on their journey forward.

If you feel a nudge in your own life, take the time to really tune in. Your intuition is speaking… Your inner-knowing is calling. You just have to be brave enough to step into that unknown space and see what magic is waiting to unfold… and if you’d like to explore these possibilities with support and guidance through coaching, please reach out. It would be my honor to connect with you.

Giving Thanks During Thanksgiving Week

Between the hustle of grocery shopping and food prepping and family gathering, did you find time to pause and acknowledge some of the things you’re thankful for? Were you able to be present for the things that matter? Did you create a space where you could breathe deeply?

As I finished my very short work week (thank you, new place, for giving us three days off), instead of feeling bogged down by an enormous weight, I felt free. Light. Happy. Dancing in my kitchen. Excited to make delicious foods. I felt joy, which is not my default emotion, and for that moment in time, I was acutely aware of how far I’ve come this year and how thankful I am. 

• I’m thankful for the good that has happened this year. I’m also thankful for the hard things, which pushed me to make choices that led to the good.
• I’m thankful for the courage to make changes.
• I’m thankful for opportunities to learn new things and to find myself in a new organizational culture and team. 
• I’m thankful for taking the leap to become a certified holistic coach.
• I’m thankful for the new people I’ve met this year, who have contributed to my learning and growth.
• I’m thankful for a period of time that is a slower pace and feels more relaxed.

This feeling of balance… even harmony… hasn’t happened over night. I didn’t have a genie in a bottle granting me a less stressed life. It’s been a journey of intentions – both small and large – that have led me to this point. 

Several years ago we started a tradition of recording answers to grateful questions for each day during November. We use the same journal each year and this is our 7th year doing this activity together. It’s both fun and heart-warming to flip back through the past years to see what we answered, what memories we were recording, who and what was at the forefront of our minds at the time, and to read what we were grateful for. A year ago we recorded a question that asked “What’s something you’re looking forward to in the future?” My answer was “a new, less stressful job.” Foreshadowing. Manifesting.

As November is rapidly coming to an end and holiday lights are illuminating our path toward the end of the year, I hope you can take some time to really slow down. Even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Pause and reflect. Look around and feel gratitude for both the big and little things, including your own strength, courage, and intuition that’s leading you in the right direction. 

Find a quiet moment and ask yourself:

• What is in this present moment? 
• What do I hope for and want to manifest into existence? 
• How and What (or for Whom) can I be thankful for along the way?

The poet William Wordsworth said it best: “Rest and Be Thankful.”